It Ain't The Newlywed Show!

We’ve been married 45 years. You would think we’d know each other better than those couples who used to be on the Newlywed show. Well, guess again.

My husband and I recently attended a church marriage seminar for seniors to strengthen our communication skills. Lovely idea! And so needed. He declares I mumble. I vow he can’t even hear himself. He says I never told him. I steam he doesn’t listen. The seminar was a great idea until . . .

            The moderator began asking questions.

            It was all fun and games in the beginning. We listened to other couples answer their questions with ease and comfort. We all laughed, ribbing our church friends that they must have rehearsed their answers. None of the questions were hard. None of them were intimate or personal. Most were common, everyday questions everyone knew how to answer. You know the break-the-ice kind of questions.

            We were in the middle of a hardy, raucous time with our friends when the instructor threw a question our way, “Sir, can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”

            You should have seen my husband. Proud plastered itself all over his face. A smile spread from earlobe to earlobe. I must have smirked, feeling girlish, knowing he had the right answer.

            He touched my hand. Tears welled. With firm conviction, he loudly declared, “It’s Pillsbury!”

            The room grew quiet. The speaker looked puzzled. Everyone turned our way.

            After what seemed like an eternity, I gasped, shoved his hand away, and said without one stitch of hesitation, “Fool! I use King Arthur!”

            Laughter erupted. Our faces grew brilliant red. My friend who was sitting next to me cupped her hands around her mouth, leaned in toward me and yelled, “He said flower!”

            My husband and I looked at one another and shrugged our shoulders.

            She yelled louder, “He said flower!”

            By now, we were getting riled up. How dare she contradict what we had answered. Was something wrong with the woman’s hearing?

            When she screamed it out a third time, we both stood up in unison, and walked out the door, huffed up and angry. Once we’d cleared the church doors, my husband flailed his arms, angry as a bantam rooster. “Well, you can tell who needed that seminar. And it sure wasn’t us!”

            Trekking behind him, I agreed wholeheartedly, “Bunch of fools! You can tell they can’t hear a blessed thing! Did you see how that woman acted?”

            My beloved whirled on me, shouting, “Acted? You thought I was acting? I lovingly gave you the correct answer. Are you trying to start a battle with me?”

            Clearly we needed to head back into the seminar, but by the time I recovered from his attack, he was halfway down the block, struggling to open someone else’s car door. Guess it’s not the right time to remind him that we drove to church with the lady who insulted us.

            Rather than tackle the problem further, I sat down on the church steps. Looking up, I noticed the seminar banner strung between two Dogwoods.

Marriage Seminar for Seniors

Improve your communication.

Learn new ways to problem solve.

Grow closer.

Gain new insight into your relationship.

            As I finished reading the last sentence, I felt an arm go around my shoulders.

            “You okay?” my husband asked.

            I sniffed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

            “I can’t get in the car,” he remarked. “Guess we need to call a cab?”

            Looking over at the love of my life, I nodded.

            Helping each other up, our hands slipped comfortably into one another’s as we walked away.

            “What’s for supper?” my husband asked.

            “Eggs and toast.”

            “That’s exactly what I wanted.”

Communication skills?

Is it possible that part of communication is just being comfortable with one another without talking? Or being kinder as our hearing diminishes?

Do you need to think about your communication skills?

God Bless You!

Even the Strongest Believers Question at Times

 

Hard questions.

“My daughter just blurted out that she was questioning if God really exists.”

“My son just told me that he was a nonbeliever.”

“My teacher said that God wasn’t real.”

When someone presents these kind of questions to you, how do you respond? Do you have scripture on the tip of your tongue? Do you react by refuting the idea? Do you sit in silence not knowing what to say?

Elisabeth Elliot said, “Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.”

Elisabeth implies, or so I assume, that we know where to find answers to life’s questions. We go directly to the source, God’s Word. And that’s certainly valid. However, if you’re not a student of scripture or familiar with the varying themes, this answer might seem daunting.

As Christ followers, we want to be able to validate the One whom we love. But how?

“Christ has no body on Earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion for the world is to look out. Yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good, and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now.” (St. Teresa of Avila)

Of all the things we could do or say, I believe our lives speak volumes about where our faith lies and who the cornerstone of our faith is. We do this by living intentionally for Christ and trying to be like Him.

 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to My Father.” (John 14:12)

Now, let me clarify something. We are not saved by our works, but we are saved for works. Our works are a manifestation of our love for Jesus. We do because we love Him. It’s as natural a response as drinking the water God provides to quench our thirst.

“For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give life a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45) Throughout the scripture, Jesus showed us example after example on how to live. The word “follow” and “serve” become a way of life.

Okay, I apologize. In the middle of writing this post, my fifteen-year-old granddaughter texted me, asking me to listen to Eric Church’s song, “Like Jesus Does”. Maybe this is the very example Jesus wanted me to use for this post. There’s no doubt that people in our culture are starving for affection and validation. The very thing Jesus did so well is the very thing that will lead more people to believe in Him. Pouring out my love on others to show the passion in my heart for the Father might be the most powerful way to demonstrate that our God lives! God’s love is our template. The fruit of the Spirit is our behavior modifiers.

This song is a little crude, but the world is crude, unloving and questioning. Love them like Jesus does. He’d probably be at dinner with this man. You know that’s true!

"Like Jesus Does" by Eric Church

I'm a long-gone Waylon song on vinyl,

I'm a back row sinner at a tent revival,
But she believes in me like she believes her Bible,
And loves me like Jesus does.

 

I'm a lead foot leaning on a souped-up Chevy,

I'm a good old boy, drinking whiskey and rye on the levee,
But she carries me when my sins make me heavy,
And loves me like Jesus does.

 

All the crazy in my dreams,

Both my broken wings,
Every single piece of everything I am,
Yeah, she knows the man I ain't,
She forgives me when I can't,
The devil, man, no, he don't stand a chance,
'Cause she loves me like Jesus does.

 I always thought she'd give up on me one day,

Wash her hands of me, leave me staring down some runway,
But I thank God each night, and twice on Sunday,
That she loves me like Jesus does.

 

Yes, she knows the man I ain't,

She forgives me when I can't,
That devil, man, he don't stand a chance
She loves me like Jesus does.

Tackling That Scary First Posting

This is scary. Opening up and telling people about who you are, what you believe in, what you’re concerned about, and what you’re passionate over. You would think I would be more comfortable doing this since I actually do it a lot. I teach Bible Studies and speak in front of groups. But it’s not my comfort zone. At all. Writing is easier for me. I do it alone and on my own schedule. I can throw away what I don’t like or keep what I do.

Following Jesus isn’t always easy or comfortable. I wake up every day and purpose myself to follow Him. I believe in Rick Warren's purpose-driven life, but I have also endorsed Jason Benham’s stand, “We follow a Person-driven life. We let the Person of God take control of the purpose.” This grounds me further.

A Person-driven life keeps me focused on God. Sometimes my eyes fall to the right or left, and I let the world slip in and cloud my vision. Oftentimes I run into questions or situations that I don’t have answers for. There are days I just struggle for no apparent reason or for an accumulation of reasons. But, I’m learning that’s okay. It keeps me headed back to the Person-driven focus, to reading Scripture, and getting on my knees. I’m learning to trust that when I slide down the wrong side of the mountain, God will pick me up, dust me off, and point me toward the craggy end of the narrow path, the one I’ve skidded down so many times the base is rutted out. I never feel God's wrath over my struggle. I only feel His love. That’s the beauty of our faith. God loves us so much, even when we fail.

Picking yourself up is always an effort. Effort builds endurance. And trust. And intimacy. With perfect precision and timing. I notice I get up quicker now. I rush back to the start line with a sharper determination, realizing the pitfalls, and Satan’s taunting lures. Standing there with a lot of other folks is perfect joy. We’re running with one another, but not in a competition. We’re running to be encouragers and enablers to the whole assembly of Christ followers. It’s staggering and amazing. It's what we're called to do. So, let me ask you something.

 What takes your mind off Christ?
            My answer: Busyness. Filling up the calendar without blocking out time to worship.

What causes you to slip?

            My answer: Allowing Satan to drudge up my insecurities.

What's your answer?