Faith Refining

I am a woman of faith. Every morning I eagerly seek God’s Word. I want it to wash over me before my day begins. When I leave my prayer area I am filled with joy. I truly believe this daily routine sets up a buffer of God’s words around me that helps me navigate all the issues and trials that will come up during the day. Historically it has proven to be an anchor and even in the worse storm the anchor has always held.

Six months ago, my husband and I began a move from North Carolina to Virginia. The whole experience toppled my routine. There were mornings when I could not go to my sacred place to worship, and other mornings when there was no sacred place to be found. There were days upon days of chaos and disorder. Everything turned upside down. I began to wonder if the anchor would hold?

I found myself waking up frayed and testy, unnerved and unhinged. Nothing felt right. Nothing was in the right place. Even my prayer time was disconnected and disjointed. My thoughts were scattered. Anger and frustration rose at unnecessary times. But it was the unrest that seemed to bind me up the most. I couldn’t concentrate on anything, not even prayer. And worse yet, I failed to fully enjoy the magnitude of my blessings.

One day I left all the work behind and found a quiet corner. Crying out, I began to wonder if a move could topple years of commitment to my Savior, Jesus. As I sat in utter grief, I began to realize it wasn’t just the move that had been disturbed; it was my order of life that had been uprooted. I used to have a set place to pray and a set place to study. Was my faith that rigid and ordered? The thought caused me to gasp.

Immediately, I began praying the name of Jesus, simply calling out His name in anguish until I was exhausted. Every day after that I did the same thing. It wasn’t easy. I had to purpose myself to sit stationary, even if it was around a bunch of boxes, and cry out to my Savior.

At one point, I asked God, “What do You want to accomplish in me? Teach me because I know this experience has not been in vain.”

It took weeks for the answer to come. And when it did I knew my faith had been rightly refined. God unsettled me to help me see He was everywhere. I could pray anywhere. I didn’t always need study material or a Bible. I just needed Jesus.

I could say the move got easier after that, but it didn’t. What got easier was me. The anchor held in spite of the storm. It held because God needed me to focus on Him rather than outside circumstances or stringent practices. The anchor held because once again God took me through the fire to refine me and remind me that He is all I need. The need is every day, all day long. The need to be in His Word is also mobile. I’m learning to memorize verses to lean on and take with me.  

Are you going through a storm today? Cry out to Jesus. Say His name over and over again until you begin to feel the earth shift and your body yield to His wonderful grace and mercy. Ask God what He needs for you to learn. Then wait for God’s answer.

Jesus is the name above all names.

The anchor holds in spite of the storm.

God bless you always,